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Written by Gerry Buldak
to the tune of "If you Could Read my Mind"
by Gordon Lightfoot
If you could eat my mind love
How delicious my brains would smell
Just like a gourmet picnic
Underground, where the Derro dwell
In a cavern long, or a dungeon deep
My spinal cord’s so sweet
My skull’s so very weak
And I will never, ever think
Because my brain
is your cerebral treat!
If I could eat your mind love
How atrocious your
brains would smell
Just like a bladder infection
Sent above from the bowels of Hell
Pass the pepper please
And some fennel seeds
To hide the taste for me
Oh how my stomach heaves
And when I see the sun again
I promise, God, that I’ll go vegan!
I’d rather eat
My intestines please
Served with a pint of mead
Than see your ugly breed
I never thought I could run away
But I’ve got to say
That it’s much more pleasant
I don’t know where
we stepped wrong
But I’d rather not belong
To an illithid!
If you could eat my mind love
How delicious my brains would smell
Just like a gourmet picnic
Underground, where the Derro dwell
In a cavern long, or a dungeon deep
My spinal cord’s so sweet
My skull’s so very weak
And if you think you can feast on me
Because you think my friends are ugly
Come in closer, and you’ll see
You never thought
you would see the day
Where a wizard tossed
a fireball your way
I don’t know where your head’s gone
But the taste was strong
And I love mind flayer fillet!
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