Notes on the Lord of Garscon

by Randal Cox
to the tune of "Carmen Miranda's Ghost is Haunting Space Station 3"

Carson, Lord of Garscon has got an ... ego for three
None with a bigger head, or huge ... self-image than he!
He would walk around with a mirror ... held up to his face,
Except it'd block all those who ... wish to look at his grace!

We know he's got a sword that's a lot smarter than him.
'Course it doesn't take much, he's remarkably dim.
But now and then we wish, we had the sword without the twit,
Next to the sword's witty banter, Carson's lacking a bit

He thinks that Daniel stole ... his lost belt of giant might
But the sword has duped him, said for me it's just not right.
Giant slaying swords cant stand it, to see the taint of giant men
So it gave the sword away then, and Bostell kept it then

Get a load of the way he tries to make out with the chicks.
Carson's sure he can have, well, any girl that he picks.
He approaches them quite boldly, knows what a gift from god he is,
But somehow they know better that the gift's just not all his.

Carson, the Lord of Garscon's got an ego for three
We think he's quite a boar, but that's easy to see.
Still we won't send him off running, or leave him alone at night
He's safer to all of us when ... we keep him well in sight.